I Hereby Resolve ... Not To Make Resolutions
I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions.
I am a fan of big dreams and goals.
It seems like those two are the same, but for some reason, they don't feel the same.
Part of it is the timing. January 1 is an arbitrary date. If you did not make any plans yet for the coming year, big deal. You can still make them. (Notice the date of this post? It is not January 1.)
New Year's Resolutions always seem to focus on tasks that aren't fun. You're supposed to be "improving" yourself, so forget about doing anything that might not make you a measurably better individual. Following this kind of logic, diets make good resolutions; art classes do not. You can watch the pounds falling off every time you step on a scale; you cannot scientifically measure how much calmer or happier you feel with a paintbrush in your hand.
Resolutions also seem to focus on changing "bad" things about yourself. Now, I know we all have faults. (I certainly have my share.) But what about the good things? Don't those tasks that you want to transform from "good" to "great" deserve a place on the list? Or what about those things that you love so much such as cooking big Sunday dinners or singing in the choir? Isn't there a way to make those occasional activities a regular part of your life?
Your Year In Review
It's hard to make any changes going forward if you don't know where you've been.
But if you're worked in a traditional office job, you might have the same dread of an annual review that I do. Those types of annual reviews typically focus on your shortcomings (not your strengths) from a manager's perspective, involve painful paperwork (spreadsheets and pie charts), and force you to confront office politics and power struggles.
Ugh.
But since these are your own beautiful dreams that we're talking about here and not those of a soulless corporation, you don't have to do any of those horrible tasks. You can make this process fun, inspirational, thoughtful, or whatever adjective appeals to you most.
Here are a few ideas to consider when reviewing the previous year or tracking this coming year:
- Annual Awards
Why not treat your life like a red-carpet occasion? Come up with your own categories such as best memory, quote of the year, greatest life lesson, or best virtual person (someone you know only through the Internet). Read the article by Neil Hughes for more fun category ideas. - Ask Questions
Life coaches love this method! Asking just the right questions may prompt you to remember and evaluate key areas of your life. I like the 5 Questions to Ask Yourself list by Alexandra Franzen. - #BestNine
This popular Instragram app lets you see your nine most popular photos. [It looks like the exact link changes every year. Last year it was 2017bestnine.com.] Mine included almost all photos of my handmade work with two photos showing handmade work by others. For me, this turned out to be an eye-opening experience. I worry sometimes that I'm boring people by showing off my handmade work, so this let me see that other people didn't share my perception.
It's important to remember that even though this collage shows what other people appreciate, you always cast the deciding vote! I decided to include it because sometimes outsiders are much better than ourselves at pointing out our true passions.
- Gratitude Journal
It's human nature to remember only the negative aspects of your life. Keeping a gratitude journal helps provide a more balanced outlook. Not sure what to write? The Positive Psychology Program has a list of writing prompts and ideas for your journal.
- One Sentence Journal
Traditional journals can be difficult to keep up with when life is breezing by. A one-sentence journal forces you to identify a single thing that worked well for you. These are fun to look back on (and might make you happier). Plus, journals have the advantage of being portable, so you can fill them out when waiting at the doctor's office, watching your kids play soccer, or other small moments of your day.
- Paper Slips in a Jar
This popular idea on Pinterest suggests that you write down good things that happen to you on slips of paper and put them in a jar to review at the end of the year. (See Little Jar of Happiness as an example.) It's similar to keeping a journal, but I believe that its physical presence might give it an important advantage over a book that you shut away in a drawer. Each day or week the jar will get a little fuller, providing a visual reminder of your happy past on those difficult days. For best results, place the jar where you'll see it every day. - Personal Mission Statement
Mission statements are the purview of businesses, but they don't have to be. I think this activity works especially well if you are feeling scattered with your energy going in all directions. A short mission statement will help you focus, making it easier to say no to opportunities that fall outside its scope. Before you worry that this task might be too daunting, take a quick glance at the Personal Mission Statements from 5 CEOs that are only one sentence long.
- Scrapbooks and Art Journals
Scrapbooks are popular ways to memorialize the past year. To make it more meaningful, don't limit yourself to the obvious occasions of birthdays, weddings, and graduations. Ordinary days need to be remembered as well. This is the kind of activity that it's best to do on a weekly basis; it's easy to get overwhelmed at the end of December composing a scrapbook that covers an entire year.
Resolutions, Goals, Plans, Dreams, Hopes for the New Year
Now that you've reviewed the past year, here are a few ideas to help organize your goals for the next one:
- Bucket List
Create a life list (if you don't already have one) of all your big dreams and hopes. For this year, choose ONE of those items to complete. Tasks that are to be done "some day" are often never done. One task doesn't seem like a lot, but some of those goals such as a trip overseas are going to require lots of planning, preparation (language lessons?), and saving money before you can check them off the list. - Charts, Graphs & Spreadsheets
Some people do like these traditional business-oriented ways of organizing their life. Author Gretchen Rubin offers a downloadable resolutions chart (listed under "The Happiness Project"). A bullet journal can be a more creative option than a traditional to-do list. Check out this list of 30 free bullet journal templates to help you organize your thoughts.
- Letter To Your Future Self
This idea mentioned in "Five Things You Can Do Instead of New Year's Resolutions" appeals to me because it's more freeform than other goal-setting apparatuses. It may be oddly easier to stick with a personalized written commitment than an impersonal spreadsheet. You might feel anxious contacting galleries to see if they'll display your work, but maybe you'll be more likely to do it if you know your future self is counting on you. - More & Less
I like the simpler approach of "more and less" which asks you to identify which things you'd like to do more or less of in the coming year. It's more forgiving than a traditional black-and-white resolution (JOG 5 MILES EVERY DAY!!!!), making more likely that you'll be able to stick to it over time.
Of course you'll want to make sure that your choices aren't going to cancel each other out. (Saying you want to "eat MORE" and "weigh LESS" is a better plot point for your science fiction novel than real life.) Here's an example of a simple Do Less, Do More list.
- By The Numbers
The Happier podcast hosts Gretchen Rubin and Liz Craft are doing "18 for 2018" this year. Their lists of 18 items to do this year are a mix of practical, one-time tasks and larger, multi-step or ongoing goals. For example, one host wants to plan a trip to New York City, while another wants to clear out her tote bag collection. Sometimes these lists focus on a milestone birthday such as "30 Before 30." Choose a number that's meaningful to you and create your own list. - Steal Someone Else's List
Super short on time and energy? You can always just appropriate someone else's goal or resolution list and modify if necessary. Check out Five New Year's Resolutions That Fuel Creativity or The Only New Year's Resolution I Made for some simple, doable ideas.
- Word of the Year
Instead writing a bunch of goals or resolutions, simply choose one word that will help you focus all your energies. For example, the word "brave" (a word I've previously used) can embolden you to ask for a raise, try a new class at the gym, or submit your novel to an agent. I've found that for this approach to work for me, I need to make my word visible, whether it is jotted on a Post-It note or stamped on a necklace. (You can see some of the previous "word" items I've created in a 2016 blog post.)
One variation I've seen this year calls for you to choose a word that matches the first letter of your name. Another variation asks you to choose a word just for a single aspect of your life. For example, see which words some writers chose to represent their writing career this year. - Write a Mantra
If a single word doesn't seem to resonate with you, why not try a mantra? Writing partners and podcasters at Happier in Hollywood chose "Be relentlessly entertaining" as a work mantra to help up their game when writing television scripts.
- 30 Day (or 365 Day) Challenges
Sticking with one habit or idea for a short period of time can be easier than telling yourself you will do it forever, even if forever is secretly your goal.
I like year-long reading challenges. Two that I've done previous include my Newbery Award Books Project where I read award-winning children's books and made a small mixed media art piece and my local library's 12 Genres in 12 Months reading challenge. Popular book blogger Modern Mrs. Darcy offers an annual reading challenge.
Challenges make a fun group activity, so they're a good choice if you want more connections with other people online or in person during the year. Some popular challenges include Inktober (drawing), NaNoWriMo (writing novels), and the 30 Day Photography Challenge. Can't decide on just one thing? Crafter Kim Werker is inviting others to join her online in a Year of Making anything at all.
If you're more the solitary type, you can find books that are written with a limited time focus. A quick search on Amazon pulled up titles like How to Write a Memoir in 30 Days, 30 Gifts in 30 Days (Annie's Crochet), 30 Day Paleo Slow Cooker Challenge. This year I impulsively bought a copy of Everyday Watercolor: Learn to Paint Watercolor in 30 Days by Jenna Rainey. - Commitment To A Cause
One reason you might dislike resolutions is that they are focused completely on you. Why not turn that around? Choose a cause, organization, or person you care about and use that to energize yourself this year.
A Few Last Thoughts & Tips About Resolutions & Goals
- Make Your Goals Achievable ... By You!
You'll feel a lot better about your goals if you make them things that are actually under your control. Making it a "goal" to secure a publishing contract with a big New York publisher is not something that you can choose to achieve. You can choose to join a writer's group, to write 500 words a day, or to send out 50 letters to potential agents. - Drop or Adapt Goals That Aren't Working
People change. What seemed like a high priority in January may no longer be one in July. This doesn't mean that you're a failure! If the goal is still important to you, see if you can tweak it to make it work. Maybe you set out to take a ballet class every morning, but you keep missing class. Do you want to drop dance altogether or do you just need to change the time of day or type of dance? Maybe a different teacher or studio would be a better fit? - Share Your Goals ... If You Like
For some people, it's hard to achieve their goals alone. For example, maybe you really want to knit more, but you feel guilty that you are knitting instead of doing the dishes or laundry. You could join a weekly knitting group or class. This would guarantee a set amount of time for you to knit, plus you'd know that other people are depending upon you to show up. (Some people prefer to keep their goals private and that works, too!) - Take The Smallest Step Imaginable
Starting anything new can be hard. I like to break down a large, intimidating project into very small steps. I'm talking steps like "find measuring tape" or "brainstorm for 5 minutes." It doesn't matter what you do towards your goal as long as you do something. I find that once I'm over that initial hurdle of starting that it's easier to keep going. All those little steps add up!
Here's to your best year yet!